Have you ever watched a juggler juggle? Have you ever really paid attention to them? I have always admired their skill, as I lack some serious hand-eye coordination. Jugglers are physically talented, and they amplify grace, coordination, confidence, and oftentimes, joy!
It’s most impressive to me because I am awful at juggling in a balanced way. I know how to chase success at work, or potty train with ease, but I have to be all-in with one thing at a time; when you add a little extra, my results diminish. I’ve always been that way. I have a huge amount of passion and creativity but it needs to be directed in one specific direction to maximize it.
Over the past several months, that one direction has been our efforts at Wepco Plastics. We have done some amazing things around PPE that have impacted our community. However, it has been all consuming. While busy from 7am to 7pm with conference calls, I tried to assure our customers and team that we were there for them. But you do the math and there wasn’t a whole lot of time or energy left over, which as a mother, had left me feeling like a complete failure.
As I’ve mentioned before in previous blogs, I maintain a lot of roles in my life. I’m a partner, a mother, a boss, a colleague, an employee, a daughter, a friend, along with someone’s customer and another’s vendor.
With or without a pandemic, it’s a lot to juggle, and I definitely can’t do it as gracefully as the juggler. But during a pandemic, it can be almost suffocating, especially as a mother which is arguably my most important role. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve questioned my dedication at Wepco and my parenting in the same thought. On one side, I have a team who depends on me for their livelihood as well as customers who need us to produce life-saving parts, while at home I have a 10 year old who has had everything familiar ripped from him in the last 2 months. In my mind, he’s the one wearing the cape in this scenario.
I’ve felt his disappointed face in my heart when I have more emails to send or when he comes bouncing in the house to show me what he found outside only to be hushed because I’m on a conference call.
On the other hand, if we escape for a rare bike ride or lunch outside I find myself constantly checking my phone. Does everyone in the shop have what they need? Have I been able to get all of our customers’ questions answered? Will my team think I’m not dedicated because I’m not by the computer?
It’s a hard situation to balance and I am certainly not perfect nor am I winning the battle. And oftentimes, that’s what it feels like to me: a battle over my time and I have to pick which side wins that day.
I know for all mothers who need to care for and nurture not only our families and our teams, but also our friends and community, it’s a heavy burden to bear right now. Know you are not alone and that my manufacturing mamas are some of the toughest I have met. Hearing your kids during our conference call or the tension in your voice when we try to coordinate schedules strangely enough reminds me I am not alone! We are fighting together to do the best we can for our companies, our families, and our communities.
And that is what I’ve learned. Sometimes when I’ve done the best I can for the day it’s okay to close my laptop lid, play a game of life and sip a glass of wine while the smile on my 10 year old refreshes my soul.
I don’t have the answers on balance and while I wish I was a 9-5 worker it simply isn’t in my DNA. When I’m all in, I’m all in. But I’m going to embrace the challenge of this new chaos and learn to be okay with having done my best, looking up from my computer and enjoying the world that’s around. Once the emails and tasks are triaged, the others will be there tomorrow but the opportunity to enjoy our families and make memories with our children may not always be there.
So to all my manufacturing and essential mamas out there, I salute you on the juggling. I pray yours ends in less tears, disappointment and wine than mine has. But most of all, I hope you learn more about yourself during this time and embrace the moments for memories no matter how small they may be.
Cheers to us mamas!