Rivers and Wells

Relationship.  A word that can mean a lot of different things to a different people. It can carry a lot of weight, or no weight at all. Someone might hear that word and think of love and fulfillment, while others might think of disappointment and hard work. For me, I guess it’s a bit of everything.

I have been incredibly blessed with a life that is full of relationships. I have the privilege of being a wife, a mother, a friend, and a daughter, along with being an employee boss, a colleague, a peer, a customer, and a vendor. The list goes on, and we can all relate. Identity is rooted in many separate things.

Each of these relationships that stem from each part of my identity come with their own uniqueness. There are different rules, varying expectations and complexities to each relationship. Thinking about it makes me tired, but at the same time, I know these relationships also have the ability to revive me. 

At Wepco, I have been given a unique position that wears many hats and comes with a great deal of ability to influence. While I am incredibly grateful for that ability to influence, at times, living up to it can be exhausting! On any given day at Wepco I have the opportunity to influence my boss, my colleagues, employees, customers, vendors, communities, and so on.

While I am currently engaged in the many relationships listed above, I started a new one recently. I am now someone’s mentee. And yikes! We added to the already abundant list, and although potentially overwhelming, I am excited about the potential this relationship has. My mentor is full of passion and wisdom. I take notes during our phone calls because she is an elegant encyclopedia of poetic wisdom. 

She ended our most recent call by telling me she wanted to make sure we were in agreement on how our relationship was going to work. If you pause for a second, there’s a lot of wisdom in one statement alone. Imagine how many relationships could benefit from taking action in this way.

When she explained her role in our relationship, she used an analogy to paint a picture. “I am a well, not a river.” I found this a little peculiar when she first said it, but then I got it and now I can’t let go of it. My mentor is in a season in her life where she can be someone’s “well”, full of knowledge, and when you need a drink or maybe to just lean on it while you ponder something, she’ll be right there. But she is not going to be your river. She isn’t going to be on your case every day pushing you to accomplish little tasks that lead to the greater results. And that’s okay. Thankfully, life works in seasons. 

I am in the river season of my life. With a 10 year old at home, a fairly young leadership team at Wepco, and a new team member in my department, I am definitely a river. 

My day consists of pushing people who are learning along to complete tasks and critiquing those tasks (which sometimes results in awkward accountability and chair squirming conflict as I answer to the leadership above me all while responding to the average 102 emails I receive per day)! That’s my version of a river.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the opportunity I have to lead and influence. However, if I’m not careful as a leader, my river could run dry, and my relationships could diminish. It can happen in the blink of an eye, but can only be repaired through a long journey back to trust, the foundation of any prosperous relationship.

I was reminded of this by a customer,  who almost never became one because he didn’t receive the opportunity to build the relationship with me that his company was looking for. He wanted someone to sit across the table, look him in the eye and be his partner in his company’s project. It was an opportunity that, because I was stuck in my busy river, I almost let slip away. 

The profoundness of that missed opportunity has strongly impacted my outlook. As vendors, if we don’t build relationships with our customers, we most likely won’t build sales with them either. Without a functional relationship with our teams, we probably won’t make lasting results and impacts. And in what I consider the most important relationship in my life, if we fail at parenting because we never built a relationship with our family, we may never find out the impact our children could have had on the world. 

Let there be seasons. Understand that there are seasons. And here is my challenge to you: Take time every once in a while to refresh your rivers, or maybe find some relief in a well. Relationships need time and attention, and if we run dry, we cannot provide that. 

There is nothing more rewarding than being present in the moment to watch your child score the basket that takes their team into overtime, or bringing a customer production quality prototypes in record breaking time and seeing the smile on their face when they know they can bring a valued product to their customer. 

Those outcomes only happen when we embrace our relationships and become effective so we can continue to develop them. Embrace the seasons, feed your rivers, and invest in your well. Make it so everything we water grows into something beautiful.